Yesterday I planned today almost completely out. I had a schedule that would take me from when I got up at 6:30 to 6:30pm. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish today and I wanted to make sure I got everything done. Sounds good right?
I went to bed last night with a headache and figured that by the time morning came around it would be gone. Well, I was very wrong. I woke up this morning with a horrible headache. I thought about getting up and starting my morning as planned, but the though literally left me feeling a little sick to my stomach.
I took something for my headache and figured I had two choices: 1) Get up and go about my morning while I waited for the medicine to kick in or 2) go back to bed and let the medicine and sleep do their things. I opted for number 2.
I actually had more than two choices, because the internal dialog we have with ourselves is also a choice. After I picked option 2 my internal dialog started in with “oohh, now I’m not going to get everything I wanted to done! I really have to get those things done today!” I quickly realized that beating myself up over this was not productive. So, I changed my dialog to “It’s more important to take care of myself and recognize when my body needs rest. I’ll get a lot accomplished when I feel better.”
I call the original dialog my “default setting”. A “default setting” is the way you automatically react to something, kind of like settings on your computer or phone. Default settings can be changed, but some are harder to change than others.
I’m working on changing my default settings in situations like this morning. I tend to beat myself up when I can’t meet the high expectations I have for myself. Instead I want to be more loving and caring with myself (I wouldn’t treat a friend that way, why should I treat myself that way!).
The first step to changing your default settings is to recognize when you have one you want to change and then replace it with a new message.
What default settings do you have that you want to change? Tell me about them in the comments!