Insights to getting things done #121 / What to do when you don't feel like setting goals

What to do when you don’t feel like setting goals

Have you ever had a period in your business where you didn’t have any goals?

You were just trying to figure out what worked and what didn’t and you’d set your goals when you had more information or data.

I know I have and I’ve seen some of my clients go through it.

It can come from having too many weeks or months of not meeting the goals you set for yourself. So, you’re not feeling a sense of completion and maybe even wondering if you’re cut out for running a business.

Feeling like that or going through those times does NOT mean that you’re not cut out for running a business.

What it does mean is that you might need to tweak a couple of things.

This can be:

  • Evaluating the things you’re doing and noticing what’s working, what’s not working, and what could be working better
  • Noticing the things that are on your do-later list that you actually want to be doing now
  • Noticing the things that you’re not doing because they’re outside your comfort zone
  • Setting a super doable goal for yourself this month so you can feel that very important and confidence-building sense of completion
  • Noticing any patterns around where you tend to stop moving forward
  • Looking at the goals or intentions that you’re not meeting and asking what information, skills, or connections do you need to more easily meet that goal

When you’re feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or like things just aren’t working out for you give yourself some grace. Acknowledge what you’re feeling and get curious about what might be going on.

Having someone else to talk to through this can be super helpful.

If this is something that’s happening for you right now, reach out & let’s talk. The easiest way to do that is to leave a comment or fill out the Contact Me form here



What would you do?

QuestionHere’s the situation.

You’re new to the area and interested in networking with other business owners.

At an event you meet a new friendly face and she invites you to a group that she leads. It sounds like it’s a good fit.

A couple of weeks later you’ve found the event online and decide to attend.

As you drive there you’re nervous and picturing the group in your mind. You’ll see the person who invited you and a handful of other people enjoying breakfast and connecting with each other.

You’re also thinking about the things that aren’t getting done while you’re out networking.

Relax you tell yourself. Meeting new people is an important part of growing your business. And there’s probably at least one great connection at this group.

You walk in a couple minutes late and talk to the hostess. She isn’t sure there’s a group meeting, but points you in the direction of the room they’d be in if they are.

You walk through the door and initially see no one, and then you turn and see two other women – neither of them them the person that invited you. Hmm, not what you’re expecting.

You put on your warmest smile and walk in as the other women rise to great you.

As you talk, it quickly becomes apparent that the three of you will be the entire group, no one else is coming. And, while the other two ladies are nice, they’re neither potential referral partners or clients.

And you’re thinking about how much better your time could be spent whittling down your to-do list.

This isn’t a group for you and you decide to leave. You apologize to the others and walk out feeling a bit nervous but also relieved.

Question 1: Would you do anything differently?
Question 2: How do you think this was perceived by the two ladies remaining?
Question 3: Were there any missed opportunities here?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Next week we’ll dive a bit deeper.​

The Feel Good File

Young woman holding a fileHave you ever had days where you just wanted to sit on the couch under a warm blanket and watch TV (or YouTube) all day?

Okay, so maybe your do-nothing inclinations look different than mine, but you know what I mean.

I’m not talking about the days where you just need a break and some personal time to yourself.

I’m talking about the days where you just are tired and don’t want to do anything. Those days when your business just seems like so-much-WORK.

Now these days can be a result of any number of things. Being overtired, coming up against your comfort zone, or it can be you’ve just ran out of oomph.

What do you do on those days? How do you get your momentum going again?

There are any number of things you can do. I even wrote a blog post a while ago on throwing yourself a pity party and there are a couple of great ideas there.

However today, I’m proposing something else.

I’m proposing a “motivation file” or “feel good file.”

Did you do the exercise in early December about where you’ll be in a year? Make a copy of it and put it in the file. (If you haven’t done that exercise, take some time and do it! And feel free to send it to me.)

Have you ever gotten a thank you note from a client or prospective client? Or maybe an email? The unsolicited kind are great mood lifters.

However, those testimonials that you’ve asked for are pretty great too (if you don’t have any you should! That should be part of your system with your clients).

Take those notes, print out those testimonials and put them in that file.

Now, anytime you’re find yourself with no oomph and want some momentum, pull out that file, read through it and remember that you have some pretty great goals and do some pretty great work. And you get to work with some pretty great people and they’re grateful that you’re there doing your work.

Feeling good? Heck yeah!

What else will you put in your “feel good file”?

Perfection and Failure

bright doorway

The person out there doing things imperfectly is always making more progress (and money) than the person sitting at home waiting for things to be perfect. – Evie Burke

Things don’t always go the way we expect. Waiting for something to be perfect won’t change that.

Failure only means that we tried something and it didn’t work out the way we expected.

And that’s okay.

I’ll leave you with a quote I’ve shared before:

So fail.
Be bad at things.
Be embarrassed.
Be afraid.
Be vulnerable.

Go out on a limb or two or twelve, and you will fall and it’ll hurt. But the harder you fall, the farther you will rise. The louder you fall, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it.

There are people who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the people they became, how certain chances passed them by, why they didn’t take the road less traveled.

Those people aren’t you.

You have front row seats to your own transformation, and in transforming yourself, you might even transform the world. And it will be electric, and I promise you it will be terrifying.

Embrace that; embrace the new person you’re becoming.

This is your moment.

I promise you, it is now, now, not two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now. Own that; know that deep in your bones. And go to sleep every night knowing that, wake up every morning remembering that.

And then… keep going.

– Unknown (emphasis added)

Five Lies We Tell Ourselves To Stay Safe: Conclusion

Over the last 4 weeks we’ve covered five lies:
Lie #1: I don’t have time
Lie #2: I can’t afford it
Lie #3: It’s not in my budget
Lie #4: I need to think about it
Lie #5: I can do it myself

These lies keep us safe. They keep us places in places we’re familiar and comfortable with. Even if they’re frustrating places we know what to expect and changing something takes us to the unknown, which can be scary.

The first three lies are really choices about how to spend our time and money. Instead of saying I don’t have time, I can’t afford it or it’s not in my budget try on: I’m choosing to spend my time elsewhere, I’m choosing not to spend my time on that, I’m choosing not to spend the money on that, or I’m choosing not to budget money for that.

Choice is powerful. Take responsibility for your choices (and your time and money).

The last two lies are a bit trickier. Sometimes you legitimately do need to think about it or can do it yourself. I remember someone saying that just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should be the one doing it.

The same thing can be said for making decisions sometimes. Yes, you can spend the extra time and energy weighing the pros and cons, but if you know the answer in your gut, then go with it. (yep, that can be scary!)

And many times the lies show up together.

For example, I want to say yes to something, but it’s pushing up against my comfort zone – so I tell them it’s not in my budget or I tell myself that I’ll figure it out on my own and save myself a little bit of money (and ignore the huge investment of time).

In the comments from the previous post Mary made an important point “We all have things we’re stubborn about.” I think that can be said for any of the “lies.”

Sometimes we’re stubborn about how we spend our time and money. Sometimes we’re stubborn about wanting to do it ourselves. And sometimes those things lead us to dig in our heals and want time to think about something we already know the answer to.

So, have any of these lies showed up for you over the past weeks? Or maybe you’ve seen them reflected in somewhere else?

Share your thoughts and observations in the comments here.