Have you ever found yourself avoiding certain topics with people because you didn’t want to cause a problem? I do this. I like to avoid confrontation and as a result I avoid certain conversations. So, I sometimes avoid talking about what I need to be happy in a relationship because it might lead to an unpleasant discussion.
I realized I was avoiding a couple of topics with my husband the other night. I also realized that for my long-term happiness I really needed to discuss those things with him, even though I might not be happy with the results in the short-term. Thinking about having that discussion scared me to death, but I did it anyway. Thankfully I found that we really are on the same page on those topics. It also opened the door for him to talk about some topics he had been avoiding. We have a better understanding of each other now.
I must have felt like I was on a roll, because later that week I called an old friend out of the blue. She gave my husband and I a gift a few years ago that had some strings attached. It sits in a cupboard forgotten most of the time, but when I do think about it, oh man, the knots in the stomach! I decided to call her and tell her that we couldn’t keep it any longer. It turned out I had completely misunderstood her intention! I literally felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders.
I’ve found that the longer I wait to have these discussions the more worked up I get, and even if the discussions don’t go as well as those above, they always go better than I expect. We don’t always give ourselves enough credit.
Where are you sacrificing your long-term happiness for your short-term happiness? We are a long stronger than we think we are. It’s important that we have those difficult discussions, especially with those we love the most.