Comparisons can be tricky things though. I see them used one of two ways:
- Beat Yourself Up
This usually takes the form of “Why aren’t I as successful as they are?” or “Why do they get to do/have that and I don’t?” or “Why is it so easy for them and so HARD for me?”Whatever words you personally have for it, the general feeling is the same: I’m not good enough. And we beat ourselves up with someone else’s success.
This can take the form of “That means it can be done!” or “Hmm, I wonder what I can do to have similar results?” or “I bet I can do that too!”In this case, the general feeling is excitement or curiosity. You see lots of possibilities and you have confidence in yourself.
The difference between the two? Well, besides the obvious, beating yourself up can be the start of a downward spiral (ohh yeah, I’ve been there!). If that happens take a breath, identify what is happening with a very brief description and decide what you want your next action to be. Then do it!
And remember that you’re comparing someone else’s outsides to your insides. You have no idea what obstacles they’ve overcome or are currently in the midst of – despite how perfect everything looks on the outside.
Now, going back to motivation, it can be the start of an upward spiral. Here, you let other people’s successes and experiences carry you forward. Notice when this is happening too! And enjoy the process.
Obviously, if I were to pick how you make comparisons, I’d pick motivation.
Share your thoughts in the comments below!